Saw the calendar in my office table this morning and my most feared month officialy starts today. The thought of sending Mimay in the airport with Naynay really makes me feel so sick! Nasusuka ako na naiiyak at the same time. Ang bigat bigat sa pakiramdam that I want to become selfish na lang and let Mimay stay here with us and I’ll just look for a nanny that will take care of her. But the other side of me is telling that kawawa my baby if we’ll do that.
Last Friday, we went to our church service and the pastor’s message was about claiming the answers to our prayers because all things are possible with Him. I know that. Ever since I gave my life to Jesus, my worries, angst, bitterness and fears, all are entrusted to Him. Lately, me and hubby do not pray and ask for a particular request to Him. What we always say is that, “IKAW napo mag-decide for us, for our family, because we know YOU love us and YOU always wants to bless us. We entrust SOLELY everything to YOU.” I just can’t help not to feel sad thinking na magkakahiwalay na naman kami ng anak ko. Feeling ko talaga maloloka ako pag bumalik na si ineng sa Pinas.
So ayun while praying in my seat, I was crying too much talaga because I want to give and lay all my hurts to the Lord. Then I saw my baby looking strangely at me and went like this:
Nakiki-iyak din sya! I guess she’s feeling the ‘pain’ too =’(
We love you so much neng. Konting tiis pa and we promise you, magkakasama-sama tayo nila Dadee soon. We just have to prepare everything for you. I willl miss you anak. How I wish I can stop the days and forever na lang na February 1.
Love you baby,